More Realizations....things that might surprise you.

Here, now is Part 2 of "Realizations" ....enjoy.

You can use leftover garlic breadsticks from Olive Garden to make a tasty bread pudding! The trick is to use lots and lots of sugar, vanilla flavoring, and almond extract to hide the garlic flavor - your family will never know! That is, unless you tell them. In that case, they will make a face and say "Eeeewwww". But if you don't cook anything for dinner, they will get hungry enough and when you wake up in the morning half the pan would have been eaten.



Don't fart in a tanning bed. Especially when the fan is at the foot of the bed.



Always get a reciept - especially at Wal-Mart. But if you don't and they accidently put the person- behind -you- in -line's charges (which includes tampons- which you KNOW aren't yours because you had a hysterectomy in 2003) on YOUR credit card, they can look back on the videotape and see which cashier screwed up, put her on probation, fix your charges, AND give you a gift certificate for your trouble.



Always have dental floss available when you plan to eat a mango before a meeting. Orange hairy teeth are distracting. If you don't have dental floss, stop by a Dentist, explain your predicament and I'll bet they'll give you a sample. Sorry - toothpicks just won't cut it.


That's it for now. I gotta go do laundry. I just realized - we don't have any clean towels!!

Procrastination - a psychological profile

It's Saturday morning and I'm procrastinating. My plan is to clean out kitchen cabinets today, but writing a blog sounds like more fun.

Procrastinating is the one thing I do well. At work - it's hard to do - with so many deadlines and so many people it would affect, it's not worth it, but at home I'm a Procrastinating Pro! The repercussions are less and the worst that could happen is I get out of the shower to find there are no clean towels. - Yea - keep laughing - like that's never happened to YOU.

Procrastination is the Scarlett O'Hara syndrome. "Tomorrow IS another day."

I looked up the word in Wikipedia and here's what they say:

"Procrastination is a type of behavior which is characterized by deferment of actions or tasks to a later time. Psychologists often cite procrastination as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision."

Wow! THAT explains it! See, for those of you who don't know me - Anxiety is a family trait. True anxiety - cold sweats, leg bouncing, diarrhea - for NO reason. Yesserree - If you share my genes you KNOW what I'm talkin about!

But let's explore the task at hand- I apparently have anxiety "associated with starting or completing"[the task of] cleaning out my cabinets.

Why - you might ask??? I'm curious myself.

Maybe it's because I feel it's too BIG of a task and then anxiety would be replaced with "overwelm-ity".

Or perhaps it's because I feel I wouldn't do a good job and anxiety would be replaced with "failure-ity"

Or it's because I'm AFRAID of what I'll find in the cabinets and anxiety would be replaced with SHEER TERROR.... (Oprah did have a show once about a lady who was deathly afraid of oatmeal).

But no... I'm well aware of the reason for my procrastination over cleaning out my cabinets. It's the SAME reason EVERYONE procrastinates. It's because cleaning out the cabinets....IS NOT FUN and I'm LAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gotta go find a garbage bag...

DUH-isms

Just a short note to say....

If you are driving in America on a highway, and you are going the speed limit or slower - GET IN THE RIGHT HAND LANE. - We've all been behind that dumb car in the fast lane driving the same speed as the car beside it in the slow lane - and usually it's when I REALLY have to pee...


If you are at the checkout counter at the store, and half of your items have already been rung up and you realize that you forgot to get something - GET IT NEXT TIME. - Come on people, don't you know why God created LISTS???


If you are faxing and it doesn't go through the first time - CALL TO SEE IF YOU HAVE THE RIGHT NUMBER. - I don't know about you but I just LOVE it when the phone rings, I answer and I hear "BEEEP, BEEEEP". And I love it even more when I hang up and it rings again, more BEEEPS, I hang up, it rings again , more BEEEPS....


If you don't know the answer to something: GOOGLE IT. There is no longer an excuse to be ignorant - now stupid is a different story all together.


Stayed tuned - More Duh-isms to come!!!

My Quest

Up until two and a half months ago I was an advocate for the "life is too short" and "So much chocolate, so little time" campaign. It's true. Someone would ask "are you hungry?" at ANYTIME and my reply was "I could eat". I never worried about my weight. When my clothes became too tight, I'd go buy new ones. I'd lost weight before and I could do it again, if I wanted to, but I didn't want to. I didn't WANT to go on a diet - ALL fad diets are stupid, diet pills are dangerous, and surgery is just if your alternative is death. I didn't THINK of exercising - I have MS and I couldn't imagine the spasmodic fits my legs would throw...

But...

I don't know WHAT happened, but one day in April a thought popped in my head. I don't know where it came from - but I KNEW I just didn't want to be fat anymore. There is no vacation planned that I have to don a bathing suit, there is no wedding I have to attend, where I would have to wear a little black dress. No apparent motivation other than that thought " I don't want to be fat ANYMORE".

So began ....."The Quest To Not Be Fat Anymore"....(did I hear horns sounding??).
I can't believe I'm putting this out there for the world to know, but I stepped on the scales and the digital readout said...








"GET OFF - you're crushing me!!!"

Did you really think I was going to tell you my weight??

Ok Maybe I'll tell you in future blogs...but not now! Anyway...

SO how was I going to Not Be Fat Anymore?? The cliche way - EAT RIGHT AND EXERCISE.

FOOD:
I have no diet plan, nothing set in stone, no rigid rules. I can eat anything I want - I just don't WANT to eat a lot of things I used to - like Snicker's bars , Starbuck's Caramel Macchiatos, Whopper Juniors with cheese - no pickle, medium fry and a coke. The morning I went through the Burger King drive-thru and ordered orange juice instead of my usual BK Mocha Joe, the lady at the window asked if I was sick!
What I DO eat is lean turkey, chicken, tuna, eggs, peanut butter, LOTS of vegetables (not carrots - they are gross), fruit, cheeses, yogurt, WHOLE GRAIN bread (very little, though). Here's a tip: "Broccoli Slaw" can be eaten just like potato chips!

EXERCISE:
Shock of all shocks - I joined a gym! Can you believe it?? ME? at a GYM??? Seriously - I found a small gym that's accessible 24/7. It's on my way to work - I don't have to make a special trip to go. There are very few people there (at 5:45am) so I don't feel at all self-conscious. I work out about an hour, shower, and go to work (usually I get dressed between the "shower" and "go to work" steps).

And...

TURBO JAM!!! encouraged by my friend Jenell - who's lost 37 bazillion pounds - I ordered Turbo Jam - yep- straight from the infomercial - or rather Exercisemercial! If you haven't tried it and want to get in shape - TRY it!!! You can order it from the commercial OR go to Beachbody.com.

So my day is this: Get up , go the the gym, go to work, come home, do Turbo Jam, go to bed.

Oh YEA - I eat , drink LOTS of water and REST! I make sleep a priority. I'm always in bed by 9 and asleep by 10. Yea - I know - that's when the good shows are on - right? Well, that's why God created TiVo, silly!

Well, It's now been about 6 weeks since the beginning of "The Quest" and I've lost 17 pounds, and about 2 inches from my waist, hips, thighs, and arms. I have an abundance of energy, and the spasms in my legs happen less often, and I have NOT ONCE felt deprived - depraved maybe - but not deprived! I did "overdo " it the day I took my sister to Red Lobster. (But THAT only happens once every 4 years - or so! - right Angie?!)

So...Stay tuned - I might just post pictures one day of my "Quest To Not Be Fat Anymore"

My Mom and Dad

Today is my parents 43rd Wedding Anniversary. For some weird reason I thought all my life that their anniversary was June 9th - but it's not - it's the 5th. So I've never wished them Happy Anniversary on time - until now!

I first met my parents in 1969 - when I was born. I don't remember it but I'm sure I was very happy to meet them.

Everyone should know the wonderful things they have done in the last 43 years. Many people know bits and pieces, but you have to know the whole story. One day I'll write it in a book and then advertise it on this blog, Dave Letterman will interview me, I'll make millions... But for now I'd like to share memorable events about my parents.

When I was very young my Dad, who has a weak stomach, was going to make brownies - BY HAND! He went to the kitchen, gathered the needed ingredients and set off to make us the chocolaty delectable treat. After a while we heard sounds of grunting - almost retching coming not from a bathroom but from the before mentioned kitchen. When my mom went in to investigate, she found that Dad was, in fact, making the brownies by hand - literally. He had mixed the ingredients in a bowl and was, with bare hands, squishing the brown goo between his fingers, but trying not to hurl as the slime of the eggs apparently reminded him of nasal discharge!
I don't know if he actually finished the brownies, and if so - DID WE EAT THEM???!!

On a similar note...My Mom has had quite a few culinary tales with "not so happy" endings - here's one that I recall.

While living in the Caribbean country of St. Vincent and the Grenadines it was difficult to get a lot of the foods we were used to in America, and food was not cheap. One particular day my Mom was going to make my Dad a birthday cake. A lovely 2 layer fluffy chocolate cake with chocolate icing! She toiled in the tropical heat, tediously measuring each ingredient to make sure this cake was just right for my Dad's special day. After the batter was mixed to the perfect consistency (with a utensil - NOT by hand) she poured it into the round cake pans, set it into the perfectly heated oven and even let my sister and I lick the big orange mixing bowl! So as not to BURN the cake, Mom set the timer! Precisely 45 to 50 minutes later (ok, ok I don't remember how long EXACTLY - give me a break!) it was TIME! Donning heat proof gloves, Mom opened the oven door ever so gently - as to not bump anything and cause the cake to "fall". She waved off the wave of steam. When she peered in to see the scrumptious creation, she let out a groan. , OH NO!! The cakes were done all right- but came out of the oven the same height as they went in. The "pancake" cakes could be salvaged, right? That is - until the parts that weren't cemented to the pan fell out in cakey clumps. Whatever could've gone so terribly wrong?? The answer was still sitting on the cabinet - three answers, actually, sitting there still in their oval white - uncracked shells. Mom had forgotten the EGGS!
Poor Mom - thoughts rushing through her head: the WASTE, the EXPENSE, the ruined birthday...it all became TOO MUCH. Mom tossed the pans across the kitchen into the empty sink and escaped to her bedroom in a tearful rage. I wisely stayed in the kitchen, decided that cake should NEVER be wasted - I bravely walked to the sink, picked up one of the now-cooled-off cake pans, sat down and ate the best birthday cake I'd ever tasted!

I'm sure there's a moral there somewhere!

I could, and should, go on and on about how my parents gave so much of themselves to make other's lives better, and to shine the love of Christ. Like the labor intensive hours my Dad spent helping to build churches - not just with bricks and mortar, but with God's word, and prayer. Or like how my Mom developed a formula to feed starving babies, bellies ironically swollen with the blight of malnutrition, teaching other Mom's how to raise chickens, grow kitchen gardens, and for goodness sakes - breastfeed your babies - it's FREE! Or about the drowned little boy on the black sand beach of Sandy Bay on whom my Mom successfully performed CPR while others were rubbing sand on his belly because that's all they knew to do. It's almost 30 years later he's still alive!
No one on earth will EVER know the impact these 2 amazing people have had and continue to have!

SO it's JUNE 5th - and I'd like to say - I LOVE you guys and I couldn't be prouder!
Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

Realizations

Realizing is not always learning new things - it's mostly understanding things you already knew but never really thought about - "a-ha" moments...

Things I realized today:

• I'm not good at blogging. I totally forgot my sister helped me start this blog. Now it's HOW many days later and I haven't added a thing?!
• I like bad weather. Yea - I know it scares me and I've been known to sleep on the couch during storms for fear that a tree will fall on my room, BUT I love to hear thunder and watch as lightning flashes. (is Eddie Rabbitt here???!!) No matter how severe the storm - it's only a tiny glimpse of God's unfathomable power.
• I'm not a great speller. I mean - without spell-check I had NO IDEA how to spell unfathomable.
• Driving with a screw in your back tire is nerve wracking. OK there's some explanation warranted here - so I ran over a screw in my driveway. (I'm sure the make-shift auto shop my 17 yr old has in our driveway had NOTHING to do with it). ANYWAY I noticed a thump-thump sound while going to the store, but the tire was not flat - nor hissing a threat of going flat. My husband reassured me that it would be fine to drive on - so I did. Driving in the rain on the freeway, however, I was mentally preparing for a high-speed blow-out - thinking "should I slow WAY down and let this semi pass me so when my tire goes he won't smush me?" or "If my tire blows when I'm ON the bridge do I stop on the bridge or do I limp to the other side?" and "When the state trooper writes my ticket for driving an unsafe vehicle, do I ADMIT that I knew the tire was already screwed?(pun intended).
• I'm not going to Cancun this year. I know, anything can happen. I didn't think this time LAST year that I was going to Cancun LAST year - but I did. My daughter won a contest and took me with her. It was going to be her honeymoon but she broke up with the guy before the wedding (THANK the LORD) , but she had to have someone 21 or older to travel with, so since I already HAD a passport.... ANYWAY the radio station is giving away a trip to Cancun and I've tried and tried to be the 10th caller but all I EVER get is a busy signal, and the last day to qualify is (was) today. Oh well, my daughter would've wanted me to reciprocate, my son would've wanted me to take him, but I would've taken their Dad, and BOTH of my kids would've been mad at me. So see, it's a good thing I'm not going to Cancun this year.
• My name in "web-dings" is Amy. OK so that was SUPPOSED to be little bitty pictures of a train, a telephone pole, and a circle with a line thru it (use your imagination). Do people really use web-dings font, and if so....Why?

Ok - enough realizing for today. I wonder what I'll realize tomorrow???